Sunday, February 10, 2008
Legal Hadith
As I was reading this blog a couple points stood out to me that seem to be things that would have happened in the older days but I am wondering if these things are still happening today in the Islam community. A reoccurring theme in the hadiths concerning divorce was that men would divorce their wives while they were menstruating and than take her back when she is "clean". This is obviously something that cannot be controlled by the woman so does anyone have any thoughts on if this hadith is still being practiced? One of the other themes in the divorce hadiths have to do with divorces when there is a child. The way they decided who has custody of the children is to tell the child to run to which ever parent they wish, is this still the way they take care of custody issues? Also, in both of the hadiths, the child ran to the mother. I think that the mother, as is the general "stereotype" in all families, is the comforter and the care-giver so children are prone to choose their mother over their father. Does anyone disagree with that? The last hadith I thought was interessting was that "Whoever drinks wine in this world and does not turn away from it in repentance, will find it forbidden to him in the Hereafter". Are Muslims who drink alcohol looked down upon? What are some of your thoughts on the hadiths I brought up and if they are still being practiced.
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i also thought that a man who divorces his wife while she is menstruating was a tad outrageous. does this mean that the man and woman divorce and get back together every single month? I thought that a man could only divorce his wife a maximum of three times or something like that.
I also didn't realize that Muslims don't drink. I am also wondering to what extent it is frowned upon.
I have to agree with the statement that the child runs to the mother. I think in most every family, the mother is the nurturer and the caregiver. The mother is the first person the child sees when it is born and therefore the child will always run to the mother first before the father when they are young.
I remember talking in lecture that if you want a divorce you must wait for the women to go through 3 menstrual cycles, therefore if she becomes pregnant they will know who the father is. I don't think they mean you divorce and get back together each month. that seems a little silly.
In response to the first question, I highly doubt that is still being practiced today- there are many more medical discoveries and much more medical knowledge now than there was then. Also, I think the child running to the mother is appropriate, since chances are the mother is a wife of many, and so the child doesn't see his/her father much. Again, I doubt this exact practice is still being performed, it seems a little extreme given the development of the world and all its societies. I think in those cases, the mother probably was the primary caregiver, but not by choice, necessarily. Also, I think we covered that alcohol question, but I'm pretty sure that Islam does not take kindly to those who drink alcohol. Overall, I seriously doubt that these exact practices are still in play, it seems awfully primitive for now, even though at the time it seemed fair and lawful.
I do agree that the mother is the nurturer, which makes it easier for the child to decide which one to go back to. The child probably sees it as the father being the enforcer, which could instill some fear into the child, and if that is the case the child would rather be with someone who is going to comfort someone.
Also, I was shocked when I heard that Muslims do not drink. I did not know that it was that big of a deal. I think times have changed and that rule might pass people's minds. At the least, this drinking might happen still muslim countries, but it might not be as prevalent here in the United States, but then again it could just depend on the person.
There divorce laws are very interesting. Are muslims only allowed three divorces in their lifetime or three divorces for that same person and then you get a new set when you marry someone else? Also, I have to agree with the fact that divorcing or separating every month and then coming back is quite ridiculous and I think that might be rare to find, but who knows.
I do not think that this is the way things are still done today. It makes sense that the child would run to the mother, solely because the mother is typically the one nurturing and being the caregiver.
I do not think that the practice of men divorcing their wives while they're menstruating still happens today. I would think that since we are more advanced in medicine now that this would be seen as a little ridiculous. I am not surprised that a child would run to its mother when having to choose between its parents. The mother probably spends the most time with the child when young and this makes sense. I was surprised that all alcohol is forbidden...at first I thought maybe it was just wine, but "Every drink which intoxicates is forbidden." I am curious if this is still practiced today.
i agree that i don't think the divorcing of women when they are menstruating is a literal divorce. That would mean that the couple would be getting divorced/re-married ever month. It may factor the relationship to the point where they take time apart or such but i don't interpret it as a full divorce. you raised a good question about alcohol as well. I know in some religions it is looked down upon, so i would be curious to find the answer to this regarding Islam.
Here's my comment concerning Muslims who drink alcohol.. A few weeks ago, in discussion Zohra mentioned something about Muslim communities adapting to the neighboring religions/customs. My family and I are from Bosnia and we are Muslim. In Bosnia, Muslims drink (but not all), and so does my family. The only time that alcohol is not permitted is during holy month, in which one should abstain from sex as well. One needs to understand that not all Muslim communities practice Islam the same... the major beliefs and customs are similar, but there are differences, just like with any other religion. Also, the idea of polygyny, while common in Islamic states, is not tolerated in Bosnia. As a matter of fact it is illegal.
I thought the menstration part was alittle odd. But the drinking part is what I also was wondering about. Because I know a couple of Muslims and I have not none them to drink so I do not know how they would handle each other if one drank. I think maybe if the drinking got out of hand then maybe they would be frowned apon but Im not totally sure..And the part with the mother is almost a given, some children want to be with there mothers because they will have it easy.
I felt this reading had alot of interesting muslim beliefs that were comparable to other religions. For example, I remember learning about how Orthodox Jews feel as though the women, when menstrating are consisdered "dirty" or "unclean". This passage directly addresses the same problem. For orthodox jews, the women must be cleansed after every menstration cycle before they are accepted once again into society. This practice reminds me of this passage and how only after the cycle is finished is the women considered "clean" again. Looking down upon menstrating women comes off to me as immature. But I suppose we tend to have a fear of exposed blood which may be the basis to these religious beliefes.
Alcohol in moderation I would think would not be a problem. I don't know the history of Arabia very well but I would assume that wine would have been somewhat prevalent in that culture. It was near Israel, which had a heavy Jewish influence, and wine, while not becoming intoxicating, was fine. I know there were certain people of Judaism who would not drink wine or eat any form of it (in grapes) so that they could delight in the total pleasure of God and not pleasures of the world. I would find it hard to believe that wine would be totally forbidden when it might have been everywhere in that culture. But honestly I have no idea. I know that is always a point of contention within Christianity so I would think it might come up in Islamic debate.
The divorce Hadith concerning the menstrual cycle is moderately outdated. I also believe that the Hadith has to deal with “clean” in the sense of a conceived child. I doubt you would get divorce every month. I think that with modern science and hygiene this certain Hadith would be unnecessary for modern times.
I think why men cannot divorce their wives while they were menstruating; it is only a way that Islam wants to give extra time and chance for both husbands and wives to fix their problems, so their marriage can continue. Islam encourage the marriage to continue and not break up, because sometime divorce can have negative effects on children as well as the husband and wife, and Islam want to keep the unity of the family.
I think it's a little extreme to divorce your wife when shes menstruating, but that would be very interesting if it does still happen today. I do understand why a child would choose the mother over the father. Traditionally, the mother is the care-giver and the father is the provider, allowing the mother to spend more time with her child. Lastly I don't think drinking should be frowned upon in the Muslim community or any other.
I think most of this is applied depending on where you live. Obviously Saudi Arabia is going to follow these Hadiths a bit more strictly than the US. It's the same with any religion. In certain very conservative places, Catholics follow the fasting rules a lot more strictly during Lent than they are followed here and im sure this is true for Judaism, Buddhism and any other religion
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